Commitments, The
Written on 18. March 2010 – 13:29 | by lancefrederick1958
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IMDB rating: 7.30 Plot: Jimmy Rabbitte, che vive di piccoli espedienti in un quartiere proletario di Dublino, si e’ messo in testa di organizzare una band musicale per rinverdire i fasti del rythm&blues e del soul. Grazie ad un annuncio sul giornale, Rabbitte comincia a selezionare giovani dal lavoro precario ma pieni di talento: Dean, Fay, Outspan, l’occhialuto Steven , Clifford, Deco, il ciccione senza buone maniere ma con una grande voce, Billy il batterista e Joey “The lips”, un bizzarro e maturo anziano suonatore di tromba che si vanta di aver suonato con famosi soul-singers. Aggrega anche Natalie, Imelda e Bernie, tre grintose ragazze, ottime coriste e molto sexy. Procuratisi a credito la strumentazione, cominciano le prove, massacranti, che impegnano tutti. Si inizia a suonare in pubblico, in capannoni e feste sociali: il gruppo sembra pervaso dal fuoco della musica e dell’ambizione. La band, pur se dilettantesca e provinciale, sembra lanciata verso il vertice e finisce invece nel fallimento: dissapori, piccole gelosie e contrasti umani ed artistici, sfaldano il gruppo. Il sogno di Jimmy evapora nel nulla e quel grande patrimonio di energia e bravura che poteva fruttare quattrini e successo siPL: disperde nel nulla. |
Actors: Arkins Robert,Aherne Michael,Finnegan Dave,Gormley Felim,Hansard Glen,Massey Dick,Murphy Johnny,McCluskey Ken,Strong Andrew,Meaney Colm,Comedy,Drama,Music,
20 Year Relationship Ended today – need direction for self-exploration?
Thanks for taking the time to read.
My wife and I have had a rough go over the past 10+ years in which I made work and my own vices a priority over sharing time with her and building intimacy within our relationship. As of late, at 42, I had found it increasingly important to address these issues with her, however, she is not able to open up to me in fears that she may be hurt again.
Today, she made a clean break from our relationship and is now on the road to self-development searching for more in life. I, on the other hand, am stuck in negativity dwelling on the concept that I had what I wanted, didn’t take the time to appreciate it, and now am forced to consider a life with her as a friend and not as my wife.
We have a 9 year old and have plans to continue to live together while seeking counseling – both marriage and self-counseling. She has made it clear, however, that there is no commitment, guarantee or promise that the self development she is embarking upon will lead us to convergent paths. While she loves me, she is not in love with me and is seeking new pleasures in life which she deems fulfilling. I, on the other hand, cannot fathom a life without her.
I think my issues boil down to a combination of thinking the entire world revolves around me and a lack of self-worth.
I am looking to proceed with counseling but am wondering if I am on the right track with my issues above.
Addl deatils……
I have always put what I wanted first in the last 10 years of our relationship.
I was never there to build an intimate bond with my wife – and felt she was holding it over my head for the longest time – which fueld my lack of desire to try to build.
She is having an online affair which she is realizing there is more to life than settling for a stable homelife.
She does not want a divorce as she would be raising a 9 year old on her own on a $40k per year salary.
We have committed to going to counseling but her desire to shake off the past and reinvent herself is most prevalent at this time.
I need to be a father to my son while at the same time living in the same house with a wife who I have feelings toward – but she no longer wants to return those feeling toward me. In her words, "I don’t know if I will ever be able to open myself up to you again in fear I will be crushed again."
I am an emotional wreck and need to put myself back together quickly.
This is really good information and I appreciate all of the responses.
as further information…..
our relationship did not end as I put in the title – it was the common roles of husband and wife which ended today.
She is positive and future looking enough to know there is a world out there which awaits her so she has a clear cut vision of what she wants to accomplish and right now, its not about me, its about us reinventing our friendship for the sake of our child.
While she is supportive of me, I think she is doing so because she needs me to be positive for the sake of our son.
Deep down inside, I know she doesn’t want me anymore and is leaving the old life of "settling" behind her.
The title should be more accurately titled – 20 year marriage downgraded to friendship today.
i am really sad after i read this.
twenty years’ relationship is not eay, you two need to accompany, be patient together, and that is a habit, a people stand by you, and do thing together with you.
And 20 years, is really a big program.
You two, has already passed it, is there anything really bad or important than this? than the 20 years?
IF you look back the time, you will know, any difficulty and interest now, is less important than that 20 years time and a wife.
So, i don’t agree you to end, why not give it up? Grasp it.
when you are old enough, and think back, you will be proud of yourself, you have save and cherish the most important, and the only chance in your life.
good luck for you.
Lisa | Feb 06, 2010
Well for one, 20-year relationships don’t end in a day usually unless it is a result of death. I heard a quote "Don’t make someone a priority that considers you an option." In other words if she moves on that easy then you must force yourself to move on that easy too. People like challenges, and if you can’t fathom a life without her and she’s just plain content with leaving, you don’t pose enough of a challenge to hold her interest. Try focusing on your career, making for a nice living space, going out to see friends and just about anything else to keep her distant. In time you will know whether this is meant to be or whether you are actually better off without her even though you may not feel so now. Time heals all wounds, concentrate on the you without her and you will probably seem like more attractive an option in the end (that is of course if you still want to be with her after you’ve individualized yourself more).
Joe Z | Feb 06, 2010
Joint and individual counseling is an excellent idea. Since you sound like you want to try to work on yourself and do what your can to rebuild a healthy relationship with your wife, I’d also suggest checking out divorcebusting.com. When I was at a cross roads in my marriage, I found much useful food for thought in the posted articles and in the community section.
If your wife wanted (or just agreed) to go to counseling with you, it’s possible that’s she’s tossing out a bone and looking to see if your relationship can be rebuilt into something better than it was.
If you’re much into reading, the book The 5 Love Languages, by Gary Chapman, may help you understand a few things about yourself and how you and your wife interact with each other.
magpie_complex | Feb 06, 2010
well basically what i would do is if she doesnt want to make an effort then you should just try try and try and if that doesnt work let her kno how you feel and recreate a romantic night/story you guys once had
The Coxer | Feb 06, 2010
Your wife hasn’t let the house, that’s a positive sign. Do Not for a second take that for granted.
She has made herself very clear. Believe that what she has said is exactly what she means. She most likely will not open up to you for a long time.
As you’ve said your combination of thinking the world revolves around you and making your work and your vices a priority. Has left your wife with very little.
Working on your self worth is a wonderful thing for you to do at, the same time think of the last years of your wife’s live when her self worth was also dwindling. I have been were your wife is. Restarting and trying to rekindle those feelings is going to take a lot of work. Make certain that you always say what you mean and mean what you say.
I don’t mean for this to sound rude but, if you re-read what you’ve written it sounds like you are still thinking about yourself and your feelings. You failed to ask what can I do for my wife, how can I show my wife I still care. Take your thoughts outside of yourself and really look at wife. Does she look happy? Does she look comfortable? Does she look worn out? Does she look angry? Does she look like her Spirit is broken? What made her fall in love with you in the first place? What can you do to become that man again? Be honest if you can’t be that man again then, let this relationship quietly go it’s own way and then hopefully you will both find happiness again.
MeAgain | Feb 06, 2010
I think the marriage counseling might fall thru since you said she made a clean break. It’s great that she still says that there is some kind of love for you. It’s better for your kid not to have to watch screaming matches.Make your kid the priority now and do what’s best for him/her.Stay with your own therapy, work hard at it and it will help you get your self esteem back
drdjjt | Feb 06, 2010
Tags: 1991, Aherne Michael, Arkins Robert, Comedy, Drama, Finnegan Dave, Gormley Felim, Hansard Glen, Massey Dick, McCluskey Ken, Meaney Colm, Murphy Johnny, Music, Strong Andrew
